Honored and humbled but not worthy!

One of the best days of my life, to be acknowledged for doing what I'm supposed to do. But I wonder did I put too much emphasis on what I have accomplished and not enough time and energy to what I'm currently doing and what I eventually plan to do? Have I focused so much on the product of what I want to be that I have forgotten about what it is that I'm doing? Over the course of the past two years, I have been headstrong and consistent, asking more questions about the process of art education and coming up blank. This current situation that I find myself in is the most cumbersome situation that I have been in for as long as I can remember. A place of knowing what to do but unable to execute an action plan.

As I said on that night in November, I am humbled and honored, but am I worthy. I need validation, and, unfortunately, I don't think from where I seek validation, am I going to get it. From what I'm hearing, I'm average at best amongst a cadre of superstars.